My name is Fin, which means it's very hard for me to end emails without sounding pretentious. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. Make up your own mind as to whose views they are. I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. Welcome at Home of the , sayings, quotes, jokes and proverbs! Catch it in the Winter! My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
Q What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Is there another word for synonym? Get your dam fish here! Only used once, never opened. A Unique Up On It. I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Q How Do You Get Holy Water? In fact, why don't you click on all the tabs. What did the necktie say to the hat? So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Q What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
That means that we have one-liners, two-liners and even a few three-liners. Of course, you can easily opt out at any time, but we're confident that you won't. What do you call the best butter on the farm? Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. Dave Barry's 50 Years of Experience Men, Manners. Because he was too far out man! Life's too short, take in as many as you can. .
Life is now officially unfair. Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food? Warning: Post contains swear words and adult themes. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. A person, who is nice to you, but mean to the stranger, is not a nice person. What do bees do with their honey? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? People who push to share their religious views with you rarely care to have you to share yours with them. Just hope I can pull it off.
The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. If the thumb remains green, you voted up. I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. The source for my articles seem to be from nowhere.
What do you do when your chair breaks? What do you call a deer with no eyes? Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. I thought: 'This could be interesting'. Here is a collection of golf puns, one-liners and other short funnies. What is Jesus' favorite food? What do you call a big pile of kittens? I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Jokes About Cartoon, Fairytale and Other Famous Characters ~ Funny Cartoon Jokes - Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.
Why are eggs not very much into jokes? Imagine him sitting on a rocking chair, a mug of hot chocolate in one hand and a biscuit in the other, relating what he can still remember in a haphazard and non-chronological order. It's time to go to sweep. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. He needed a little space. So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller', he said 'Not you again'. Where do fortune tellers dance? What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? Hot, because you can catch a cold. That means i talk down to people.
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A fine is a tax for doing wrong. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. A The Location Of The Dirt Bag. What can you hold without ever touching it? He told me to stop going there. Hot, because you can catch a cold.
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? What did one magnet say to the other? What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car? Sometimes you just want to make somebody laugh. What is a cannibal's favorite game? Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? Where are all these extra single socks coming from?! One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people. You should never say anything to a woman that even hints that you think she's pregnant. Because those men already have boyfriends. We should call her after one of the grandparents. She was wearing massive gloves. I can transcend dental medication.
Don't just copy it and pretend you wrote it. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? This compilation of short funny jokes has been chosen by our Life Daily researchers to provide the widest possible variety to suit all tastes Being short, they are easy to memorize and can be used as an. What did one elevator say to the other? The problem with standard jokes is that you have to wait too long for the punchline — which may then turn out to be not that funny. Body like a Greek statue — completely pale, no arms. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.