I started having night terrors and began sleepwalking. I've known people who didn't tell or didn't remember and their lives are ruined. The only thing that is kind of bugging me is not knowing whether it was intentional or not. My grandparents were baby-sitting us as my mom and dad went out of town. He'd just laugh a little and say it was okay.
Thank you for sharing your story. I've never been to any sort of counseling or therapy in my life and don't know if I could handle it. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but the intense depression I went through somehow triggered the memories of my grandfather. Any variation from this can result in a permanent ban. When I got older, I became his sounding board for marital problems, money problems, and his issues with his dead father and my overly protective though well-intentioned grandmother. Someone my mother trusted my life with. For now, act as nothing happened and once we get back, talk to a therapist.
He went on to sexually assault her for more than seven years, even driving her to local dogging sites and selling her to paedophiles. I would have never thought they abused her sexually. I have read a lot of forums on this kind of stuff and everyone says, you must be courageous and report it. Sometimes he would put his hand up my dress when I was sitting on his lap around the kitchen table, no one even noticed. Sometimes I wish I knew his phone number so I could call him. He's confessed to me of the horrible things he has done and how he's gone to confession and the priest forgives him and how bad of a sin it is etc.
You are young, you have time to heal and have a good life in spite of the horror you've been through. But I didn't tell a soul. As I laid there trying to catch my breath he took off my pants saying he was going to clean me up and performed oral sex on me. Thank you so much for reading. Will physical love and marriage ever be possible? Introducing me to a man, who I think was in his 50s, he ordered me to strip, then they both raped me. She is shocked and scared.
I hope eventhough this happened to you, I hope you find light and love, and wonderful things. Dad disappeared into the house, I thought to get some sleep. I wanted to carve it out of me, but I couldn't. I still suffer from panic attacks, especially in situations when I have little to no control. I thought he was just showing me some odd form of affection.
I just crawled into myself, a little piece of me poisoned from the realization and slowly creating a bigger wound as months went by. It would just ruin the whole family dynamic. There I would be expected to have sex with many, many men. When I reached 18, I hadn't thought about what happened to me in a long time. When he'd put me on his lap, I'd struggle a bit, or tell him no. I can't even describe to you what it's like to see a mother, who loves you so much, just break down like that. When I was 5, my grandfather locked me in a room with him while I was watching cartoons.
Ultimatly its your decision, the fear of the 'what if' is always worse than the actual event. I stopped giggling when the door closed. There are going to be family members who will not want to know or hear about it. He is an alright guy, and has tried to help me when I was struggling with school and a heroin addiction. I was on the verge of ending my own life and was so desperate, I felt I had to force myself to have the courage to speak about it.
It wouldn't surprise me if they have been victimized. In fact, his absence has given me clarity and room to figure out my life. After he died, I forced myself to never think about it again. My question is should I tell someone? That is up to your mother. Thank you again for helping me process this.
My college graduation felt like it was missing something without him there. From then on they knew they could abuse her and get away with it. I wish you the best. I knew absolutely nothing about sex and all I knew about my privates was that I used them to go to the bathroom. And yes, thank god she was so supportive. I knew what he was saying and I hated him for it. She was so shocked she slapped my arm so hard and sent me back to my own bed.